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October 25, 2005

オトナとは?

毎週のようにkaorina。にやってくるひどい鬱。そのたびにほぼ全精力を注いで対応している。「パトラッシュ,ぼくもう疲れたよ。」そんな感じだ。
こんな状態だとどうしても他人の所為にしたくなるもので,「あいつ(注:オケ関係ではない)が消えれば」とか物騒なことも考えたりする。

でも冷静に考えれば,現状=ものごとの結果は常に自分の責任だ。自分の選択と行動の積み重ねが今の結果を生じさせているのであって,他人はその流れの中に,偶然であっても必然であっても単に登場したに過ぎない。
(これは私が人間不信だから思うのかもしれない。他人はこちらに余裕があるときは手を貸してくれるが,本当に余裕がなくなったときは助けてくれないと思っている。)
だからどんなきつい状況におかれていても,最終的には自分との孤独な闘いに勝つしかないと思うのだ。そしてその闘いに勝って自力で事態を解決できるのが「オトナ」というものではないかと思ったのだ。

よく「もっとオトナになれ」とか言われるが,「オトナってなんだ?」とずっと疑問に思ってきた。たいてい私が激しく憤ったときに言われるので,「怒らないのがオトナ?ひたすら我慢するのがオトナ?そんなの絶対認めねー!」と思ってきたが,今回自分なりの解釈を得ることができた。
これからは自分の解釈による「オトナ」を目指すとしよう。

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Comments

こんばんは。日曜日は本番お疲れ様でした。(^^)

オトナとは、自分との闘いに勝って自力で問題を解決できる人種、ですか。さすがですね~。私もこの説明なら納得がいきます。「我慢するのが大人?でもそうとも限らないしなあ」となんとなくすっきりしない気分だったのですが、これでようやくすっきりしました。

ワタクシもオトナ目指して頑張りまする。

Posted by: chachaky | November 01, 2005 at 23:39

どーも。chachaky氏もおつかれさまでした。
こんな独り言みたいなものに共感していただけるとは,なんとも。
お互いがんばりましょう(でいいのかな?)。

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